No matter how hard I tried, I just couldn\u2019t seem to remember my number one rule: don\u2019t walk and answer emails at the same time. Okay, not my number one<\/em> rule. Maybe number seven.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Fine. <\/em>I didn\u2019t have rules, but if I did, this one would be important.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why? Because unlike in the movies, when women in power suits could walk through New York City with their noses glued to their phones, this was real life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And in real life, being hyper focused on getting shit done while also trying not to be late for a meeting had consequences.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just ask my throbbing ankle.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But it wasn\u2019t my fault the shoes I\u2019d chosen made it difficult to be productive while also running late. It wasn\u2019t even my fault that I hadn\u2019t had enough time to answer my morning emails while sipping coffee in my silky floral robe before I left for work this morning.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No, all the blame landed squarely on the shoulders of the stupidly hot and equally annoying man I was about to meet. And instead of thinking about how irritating it would be to hear his shit when I showed up late, I\u2019d been focused on my clothes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

More specifically, these damn shoes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even more<\/em> specifically, how satisfying it would be for all-work-and-no-play Eric Walker to let his stuffy mask slip a little when he saw how good they made my legs look.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Which was stupid, because I didn\u2019t even like the guy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Not like that, <\/em>anyway.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Out of all the Walker brothers, Eric was the most serious. The man rarely smiled\u2014though, watching his siblings find their happily ever afters and blessing him with the title of Uncle Eric had started to change that a little. But in general, it bugged me that he was wound up so tight. There was more to life than work.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In fact, I was proof of that. Sure, some might call me a certified workaholic, but I also knew how to have fun. I hung out with my girls, I shopped till I dropped, I drank champagne at brunch, and when trivia night at Walker\u2019s rolled around, I was the one grinning like a fool while I kicked ass answering questions about random stuff I\u2019d learned on TV.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thus, choosing these mile-high heels was an effort to show Eric there were plenty of things worthy of his attention beyond his duties running the family brewery. Not because I liked him or wanted to be a source of recreational fun for him, but because it was good for his soul to think about something other than beer, tater tots, and employee health insurance, dammit<\/em>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When I finally made it to the coffee shop where we\u2019d planned to meet\u2014only two minutes late, thank you very much<\/em>\u2014a quick glance through the window had me stopping dead in my tracks. Then my ankle throbbed anew as I jerked back and did a completely cartoon-worthy spin to dash out of sight.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Which, of course, meant I ran smack dab into a wall.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, it wasn\u2019t the wall of the coffee shop\u2014thank god for my nose\u2014but a wall of Sammy. The youngest Walker brother, and probably the only person in the world I\u2019d want to run into while running away <\/em>from what I\u2019d seen through the window.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

He already knew. He already knew, so I wouldn\u2019t even have to tell him.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Well, he didn\u2019t know everything, but he knew some<\/em>thing, and that was more than I could say for the rest of my friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHoly shit, April,\u201d Sammy choked out, grabbing my shoulders to keep me from tipping off my heels. \u201cWhat the hell?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I steadied myself as his hands slipped away, so fucking grateful it was him I\u2019d crashed into. \u201cSammy.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As a bartender\u2014well, now bar manager<\/em>\u2014Sammy was unusually good at reading people. It helped him a lot while determining if someone needed to be cut off or kicked out or placated so they didn\u2019t leave a shitty tip for their server if something beyond his or her control had caused them to be unsatisfied with their meal.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And right now, I could see him doing a quick read on me. I wasn\u2019t sure what I looked like, but judging by how hard my heart was pounding, the cold sweat breaking out over my back and neck, and the thunderous whirring in my head, it probably wasn\u2019t good.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

He grabbed my hand and pulled me into a narrow alley that led to the back of the shops lining Main Street. That was the thing about these Walker boys. Nobody messed with one of their own. This particular Walker was the youngest and most cheerful of the bunch, but since I was best friends with his wife and my two other best friends were married to two of his brothers, that meant I was family.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIs it that guy?\u201d he asked.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Shit, he\u2019s quick.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I nodded, surprised to find my jaw suddenly not functioning. I worked it from side to side, old wounds rising back to the surface like an icy ghost of a flame.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It was funny how that happened. I could throw myself into work, fun, friends, and family, and as long as I kept smiling and kept busy, I didn\u2019t remember.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I didn\u2019t feel his hands on me or hear his cruel laugh.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I didn\u2019t wince when someone outside my bubble touched me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I didn\u2019t say no to social events because I was worried someone would ask me how I was, and I\u2019d have to lie.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And then boom<\/em>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

One minute, I\u2019m on my way to a meeting, thinking about the hot and annoying guy I was hoping to distract with sexy heels\u2014fuck, I think I might be sick thinking about that part<\/em>\u2014and the next, I see the source of all my nightmares, right there in the flesh.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWhere is he?\u201d Sammy ducked his head out of the alley and then came right back, his protective instincts on high alert.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIn the coffee shop,\u201d I whispered.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cOkay, good. Here\u2019s the plan.\u201d Sammy nodded once, then held up his finger between us like he was about to say something serious and profound. \u201cDon\u2019t go into the coffee shop.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I snorted as the corner of his mouth pulled up.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Oh, Sammy.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bless him for trying to make me laugh. Jokes were his default when shit got real, though that didn\u2019t make him any less intimidating when he needed to be. But since the threat he\u2019d tried to steer me away from wasn\u2019t actually on the street ready to make a grab for me again, here he was just being \u2026 Sammy<\/em>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

He\u2019d been there the last time I\u2019d seen Cliff, though, and he\u2019d seen him manhandle me that day as we\u2019d stood in the grass between my family\u2019s B&B and Walker\u2019s Brewery. If Sammy hadn\u2019t walked up to us and scared my ex off, I have no idea what would have happened. So even with the smiles, I could tell he was trying to figure out if he could help me again.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYou\u2019ve told someone other than me about this, right?\u201d he asked. His face told me he hoped to god my answer would be yes, and when I merely wrinkled my nose, he hung his head. \u201cApril, seriously?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cSammy, I told you to forget what you saw that day because I could handle it myself.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cAnd are you?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWhat?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHandling it?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I stiffened, trying to bring back the confident, sassy chick who was enough of a baller to answer emails while walking in four-inch heels\u2014well, attempt to, anyway. But Cliff\u2019s sudden reappearance months after I thought I\u2019d gotten rid of him had me unable to call that girl back to the surface, and I slumped against the wall behind me with a sigh.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIf it makes you feel any better, I moved out of my apartment and into the attic at the B&B.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cUh\u2026 no. Crazy as it might be, that doesn\u2019t make me feel any better. In fact, it tells me this is some serious shit.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I blinked back at him, no idea how to respond. It wasn\u2019t like he was wrong, and yet, what more did he want me to do? Did he think I wanted to give up my a-freakin\u2019-dorable<\/em> apartment and move into the one room at Granite Springs B&B that didn\u2019t look like it belonged in a magazine?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sammy scratched his head, looking awkward as hell. \u201cApril, you told me not to tell anyone what I saw that day, but you didn\u2019t tell me who the fuck that guy is or what happened. I\u2019ll be honest, I\u2019m not sure what to do here, but somebody has to do something. You can\u2019t live like this forever.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That got through to me. Sammy was my friend. He and his family were great people to have as friends because they looked out for the people they cared about. And so did Kate, Rachel, and Ellie, who were all happily married into his family.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And none of them knew.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I had to keep it that way, and if I stood here in this alley looking like some broken, sad little girl for a moment longer, Sammy would try to convince me to tell them so they could help me. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Or, worse, he\u2019d take it upon himself to tell them for me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I straightened and pasted on the same big smile I\u2019d used the last time Sammy had seen me nearly fall apart at the sight of my ex. \u201cYou\u2019re right, I can\u2019t. And no, I didn\u2019t tell you what happened or who he is, and I\u2019m not going to.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cApril\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIt\u2019s fine. I promise. I\u2019ll figure it out. It just startled me to see him in the coffee shop because I\u2019m supposed to be meeting Eric, and I didn\u2019t wanna deal with it.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

My voice was calm, and I punctuated my lies with a little self-deprecating laugh and a wave of my hand. Even though my pulse still raced and my head ached, I prayed he\u2019d believe it was as simple as that.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When he only stared at me like he was worried I was about to dip out on my bar tab, my stomach rolled. But then he loosed a sigh and shook his head, and I could see that I\u2019d won.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Whether he believed me or not, he wasn\u2019t planning to press the issue. Not at the moment, anyway.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But if I knew Sammy, I\u2019d probably get a call from Rachel about this tonight. The man had a thing about keeping stuff from his wife\u2014such a novel idea, I know\u2014and since Rachel had already witnessed other things that made her suspicious of me recently, I knew I\u2019d have to face this story soon.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And when I did\u2026 well, I couldn\u2019t think about that now. That was a problem for future me<\/em>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cFine,\u201d he gritted out. \u201cI guess just stick with the plan, then.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I frowned. \u201cThe plan?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

He rolled his eyes with a short laugh. \u201cDon\u2019t go into the coffee shop.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I laughed with him even though that icy feeling at the back of my neck still clawed at me. \u201cYou got it. Thanks for the help. I appreciate it.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Desperate to get away\u2014get anywhere but here\u2014I turned to go. Then I stopped and spun back around, nearly running into him again. \u201cShit, sorry. One more thing.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWhat?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cEric<\/em>.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWhat about him?\u201d Sammy asked, then his head turned toward the coffee shop, and he grimaced. \u201cOh, right. You were supposed to meet him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cNew plan: I\u2019ll text him and tell him I\u2019m gonna be ten minutes late,\u201d I said, pulling out my phone, then wincing when I saw the time. \u201cI\u2019m kinda already ten minutes late, but whatever. He\u2019ll be fine. Can you go in there and sit with him and just like\u2026 I don\u2019t know, talk shit and stall or something? Then text me when Cliff leaves, and I\u2019ll come back.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

He pinched the bridge of his nose, clearly uncomfortable with this new strategy. \u201cTalk shit and stall?<\/em>\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYes. He\u2019s your brother. Just sit down and act natural. Be your jokey little Sammy self and chat about whatever it is you Walker boys chat about. Beer, women, whatever. Well, stick with beer. It\u2019s Eric, after all. I\u2019m not sure if he knows about women since he can\u2019t organize them into spreadsheets like he does with the Walker brews.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then again\u2026 I wouldn\u2019t put it past him.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sammy rewarded me with a tight grin, then shook it off. \u201cHow \u2019bout I go in there and tell him you can\u2019t meet him there and to meet you somewhere else?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I flared my eyes at him. \u201cBecause, Sammy, it would be really fucking weird for you to go in there and mysteriously tell the guy I\u2019m supposed to have a business<\/em> meeting<\/em> with that I need to meet him somewhere else. So unprofessional.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cOh, okay, so it\u2019s not weird and unprofessional for you to have me go in there and pretend I\u2019m just shooting the shit with my brother while simultaneously spying on your potentially dangerous mystery stalker?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ew, shit.<\/em> Was this what it was like to have a brother? Because as a woman with four sisters, I had to say it was fucking annoying.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thankfully, he must have realized he was fighting a losing battle because he blew out a long puff of air through his nostrils and rolled his shoulders. \u201cOkay, April. You win. But I\u2019m telling Rachel, then you\u2019re gonna tell her whatever the hell is going on so we can have your back on\u2026 whatever the hell this is. Got it?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I glared at him, not bothering with a response as we parted ways at the mouth of the alley. He went to the coffee shop like I\u2019d asked, and I clipped down the sidewalk in the opposite direction, desperate to get away from Main Street before Cliff came walking outside.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

How fucking ridiculous. I\u2019d been on my way to that coffee shop, all smiley and carefree, thinking about making Eric squirm with my high heels, only to nearly come face-to-face with him.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

My gut clenched as a wave of sickness came over me again. I\u2019d thought I was free of this feeling. I\u2019d thought I could safely move on. Even though he\u2019d been the reason I\u2019d moved into the attic at the B&B, I\u2019d somehow convinced myself I was safe when he hadn\u2019t come around again since then.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But no.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Clearly, I was dead wrong. And now I had a sinking suspicion I\u2019d never really be free. No matter how much I\u2019d grown and changed and healed\u2026 if he<\/em> was free, I wasn\u2019t.<\/p>\n\n\n\n